I love photography and it’s all I want to do. My journey started a long time ago, long enough that I cannot remember exactly how old I was when the bug bit me in the form of a Kodak Instamatic. I took photographs of anything and everything and they weren’t very good, but I loved doing it. Years later in high school when career day rolled around I immediately sought out the photographer. As I got close enough I heard him saying, “don’t do it, it’s competitive and the worst thing you can do”. I was crushed, my world had just been pulled out from under me. I turned and walked out totally and completely lost. I had no backup plan, the life that I had completely built around photography was destroyed in seconds. I have clear memories of the time leading up to that moment, and little to none after.

My path at that point went from a straight line to a meandering one never quite heading in the right direction. I graduated high school and started attending junior college both to buy time and get lower level classes out of the way. I’m not sure what I was buying time for, but I clearly needed more. I was working at a local print shop and wearing multiple hats; driver, rubber stamp maker, graphic designer, printing press operator, copy production, customer service and bindery. Graphic design and printing press operator both intruiged me for a short time, but quickly lost their luster. They could not illicit and passion I felt for photography. It wasn’t until some time later my parents toured the Cal Poly photo lab as part of their local photography club that my life once again had purpose. They spoke with several of the instructors and the lab tech, all of them saying the same thing, graduates were going onto successful careers as professional photographers. I came home that night and they immediately told me what they found out, and even brought home a brochure with a list of all the classes. My wandering path once again turned into a straight line towards a singular goal, to attain my BS degree in photography and become a professional photographer. I was happy again.

My time at Poly was a shift in my life both personally and professionally, I was on the right track and knew it. While I struggled with some of my standard curriculum, my photo classes were easy A’s and I enjoyed them immensely, I even made Dean’s List one quarter. Towards the end of my term at Poly I decided to relocate to Denver, CO. It was a larger market, and more importantly it wasn’t New York, LA, Chicago or Dallas. For some reason it appealed to me quickly and having a brother there would make the transition easier. I found work assisting for several photographers, but it was hard and money was always thin.

A year after moving I started a full time postion in a Boulder studio for Michael Lichter, a very good commercial shooter and come to find out an icon in the custom Harley-Davidson industry shooting for Easyriders family of magazines since the 70′s. Over the next 12 years with Michael I learned a lot, but always knew I wanted my own studio. It was a scary prospect to go on my own, digital equipment was expensive, I wasn’t really shooting much, and I’d have to go out and sell myself, not my strength by any means. I tried wedding photography for a while, telling or actually lying to myself that it would fill the void, but it didn’t. My passion for the studio environment remained.

The beginning of the end was hearing a commercial client of ours speak of the studio they were setting up and approaching them for retouching work. For some reason I was still not confident enough in my own ability to make it as a commercial shooter that a 9 to 5 gig working on someone elses images seemed like the next best thing. The job would also help my wife and I relocate back to CA, a move we desperately wanted to get back close to the ocean. It didn’t work out, but in actuality it did. Soon afterwards I was looking at work created by busy and successful photographers on the west coast and realized I can do this. Not only can I do this, but I’m sure I can do it better than those I was looking at. The sea had parted right in front of me. I turned, looked at my wife and said, “I’m doing this”.

That was months ago and since then I’ve quit my job, set up a studio in my basement, and begun to shoot some of the best work of my life building a portfolio. My creative energy has new life and I am so much happier, but at the same time still freaked out. I’ve been taking care of the easy part, shooting, putting together a strong portfolio, and getting this blog and my website up and running. Soon I’ll have to start selling myself, something I’ve feared for a long time since I am not a salesman. I often reflect on this aspect of my chosen profession and get way into my own head and lost in blogs, tweets, and Facebook. I read so many articles telling me to do this, write that, and on and on. The amount and availability of information is overwhelming, I could totally loose track of who I am and more importantly why I shoot. For this reason, I’m working hard to stay one with my core, my reason for becoming a photographer, I love to make beautiful photographs. Along the way I cannot lose who I am, and more importantly try to learn more about myself. Sometimes I doubt I know who I am, but I do know that photography is a huge part of me and I can always re-align myself with a camera in my hand.